Actually, *We're* the Pharisees
PS: Jesus can't be racist or sexist
I was raised on children’s bibles from the 90s. Everyone was white, Adam and Eve had tasteful leaves covering their private parts, and the Devil was bright red with shiny horns. Jesus being tempted in the dessert was actually my favorite page; that angry Devil captured my imagination and I remember spending what felt like hours staring at the gruesome scene. As a teen, I was given one of those bright purple Youth Bibles that sums up what Jesus said in hip youngster terms and comes with gel pens. When I went to the SEEK conference as a college student, I went out to Barnes and Noble the night before to bring a big-girl bible. I didn’t want to look like a loser with my giant lavender scripture.
I still have that bible. It’s much underlined; the pages are quite faded. I’ve gotten older and learned that, yes, bible translations matter, and that you can read the Sermon on the Mount three times in three days and have three different experiences. I learned what sola scriptura meant and that Catholics did not believe in it. I understood that illustrations in bibles are rarely historically accurate and after listening to the Bible in a Year podcast I finally understood the Old Testament, although no one in their right mind would put “biblical scholar” and “Claire Swinarski” in the same sentence.
The more I learn about the bible, the more I fall in love with it. The more I want to reread it. The more I want to read the actual words of Jesus instead of an interpretation of them from some dumb substack writer (hi).
Because it doesn’t take much creativity to use the bible as a political tool, or a weapon, or a sword. It doesn’t take a genius to pull out a few things Jesus said and throw them up in pretty Canva graphics while ignoring a bunch of others. Making an argument that Jesus said to hate your family, or to stay with an abusive husband, or to overthrow the government, or to give away everything you own and let your kids starve—all of these are possible with some simple finagling and missed context. If I wanted to construe the words of Christ and the prophets in order to convince you to send me money, I could do so in a heartbeat (a worker is worth his wages!)