Dear Pope Leo the 14th 🇺🇸 🇻🇦

what I would tell the new Pope if we could sit down for an almond milk latte

Dear Pope Leo,

Congratulations, Papa. You got it. You wear one of the most powerful pairs of shoes to walk the earth. While you live, your every word will be dissected by an army of Catholic podcasters. When you die, dignitaries from across the globe will come to your funeral.

I have no theological degrees. I can’t tell you much about the council of this or document of that. I do not even have a Catholic podcast anymore. But I am a woman with an internet connection, and in 2025, that means I’m qualified to write you an open letter. So here goes.