Special dispatch: A note to encourage. ✌🏻

The Supreme Court may overturn Roe v. Wade

If you would have asked me ten years ago if we would see the overturning of Roe v. Wade in my lifetime, I would have laughed in your face.

If you would have asked me three years ago if we would see the overturning of Roe v. Wade in my lifetime, I would have chuckled and said “highly unlikely”.

If you would have asked me last week if we would see the overturning of Roe v. Wade in my lifetime, I would have patted you gently on the hand and said “Maybe. But probably not.”

Ask me today.

Some of my favorite stories in the Bible about friendship involve people gathering together to remind one another of who God is. In the book of Sirach God reveals to us that “a faithful friend is a sturdy shelter”. I feel as if we could all use a sturdy shelter right now. I hope you’re in touch with your IRL community, but also, I thought I’d offer a few thoughts as someone who’s been talking about pro-life feminism for a while now.

If you haven’t heard, a Supreme Court opinion that would overturn Roe v. Wade was leaked. If you’re looking for legal discourse on what this would allow or doesn’t allow or what states can now do or the judicial process, bounce away, Captain Kangaroo, as my brother once said to a very strange man hitting on his wife at a bar. I’m not your girl.

I am your girl for a calm, loving, heart-centered conversation on abortion. Because that, at the end of the day, is what we’re getting at, here. Who can have an abortion, and when, and where, and if it’s “necessary”.

One unintended consequence of our good, true, beautiful desire to ensure women have resources and support after facing a crisis pregnancy is that I’m seeing some Catholics becoming very afraid to call abortion what it is: a moral wrong that is unacceptable in any circumstance. Deep breath. Full stop.

I understand that your life may be very, very, very difficult and horrible and feeling like a catastrophe. It is wrong to end a human life.

I understand that you may be post-abortive and feeling very hard feelings right now. It is wrong to end a human life.

I understand that you feel like you have no other options in front of you. It is wrong to end a human life.

I understand that you are frustrated that you’re surrounded by people who don’t really seem to give a crap that women are suffering. It is wrong to end a human life.

You repeat yourself, you tell me. But I respond: when we divorce this fact from the narrative, it leads to things like this: followers of Jesus saying no, but you don’t understand—sometimes we have to kill people.

The minute we believe that to be true, the abortion industrial complex has won.

They’ve convinced us that abortion is central to our very being; that non-fertility is the ideal state of being, that the femaleness is something to be surgically taken away. That the ability of men to walk away from their fertility is the ideal and that we must conform to that ideal. That mothers are not capable of overcoming traumatic pasts and being good mothers. That women should be full of fear, but that Planned Parenthood is ready to fly in and save the day. That workplaces don’t need to support parents. That you can’t thrive without abortion. What a disempowering message. What a pack of lies from the Great Liar. What bullshit. I will not have my daughters believe such things. Those words will not be uttered unchecked under my roof, digital or literal.

Let’s tell the full story. The full story is not “abortion kills babies, so it’s wrong”. It’s also not “but this will harm poor women because they’ll be forced to have children while rich women will be able to travel to procure an abortion”. It’s also not “if we had paid maternity leave, then we could make aboriton illegal”. It’s also not “keep your legs closed”.

It’s a conversation about human dignity, and the fundamental right to exist. It’s a conversation about womanhood, what the female physiology entails, and how to best understand and support that physiology. It’s about whether or not someone’s extremely unfortunate life circumstances entitle them to end someone else’s life.

Embracing that idea rips the humanity away from the soul, and as Heinrich Heine wrote, “Thought precedes action as lightning precedes thunder.” We see people as less than human. We treat them as such. You know the rest. History books tell that story, over and over and over again, and it is not a good story.

We can’t keep doing the band-aid of abortion over the gunshot wound of suffering. At some point, we’ve got to say that this isn’t working. Too many have been hurt. It’s time to try something new. Over and over today I’ve seen stories that would make you vomit; stories about women being threatened with murder if they didn’t have an abortion, stories about women being fired for their pregnancy, stories about rapists demanding access to their children. I mean, my God. The things we have allowed with the swipe of the abortionist’s tool. The things we have let stand should shame us until the end of our days.

I reached out to a few on-the-ground pro-life workers this morning and was instantly uplifted by their spirit of prayerful, peaceful optimism. One of them posed a question that I echo back to you: Are we ready?

I think we’re getting there. I think with every pushback against purity culture, every new person who learns to chart their cycle, every conversation with a friend about their abortion that doesn’t dive into shame + rejection, every woman who isn’t ashamed of bringing up their miscarriage, we’re getting closer.

Are we ready to help women in crisis pregnancies and help families thrive? We have to be. Because the people who are getting massacred—and yes, that is what is happening, thousands of innocent people are having their lives ended and I’m sorry that that is a very uncomfortable truth to stomach—can not wait any longer.

At the end of the day, the work isn’t really changing. It absolutely matters that the unborn may be one step closer to legal protection. But our fighting for proper sexual ethics, and ending sexual violence, and support for families, doesn’t end. Crisis pregnancies won’t end whether or not Roe v. Wade does.

Further reading: Pro-life Answers to Pro-choice Questions, What the Pro-Life Movement Needs, Is Every Issue a Pro-Life Issue?

So what can we do? The church + her messy flock will embrace this challenge, or she will fail. We will fail. But the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, yes? We have spirits of power, love, and self-control. Be not afraid, sisters. We have shit to do.

Homework: find out where women in crisis pregnancies can get resources in your community.

There are probably people doing important pro-life work in your community, right this instant. If there aren’t, you may need to start doing it yourself. If they are, think about how you can help. Write a check. If you can’t write a check, first of all, I ask you to reaaaaaally ask yourself if you can’t financially assist them in some way. It doesn’t have to be a $500 donation; it could be grabbing some extra diapers at Costco. Call and ask what they need. Go to Target. Buy that thing.

But if you really, truly, can’t—I understand + believe you. Like them on social media. Volunteer. Ask if they have reading material you could hang up at your church. Ask if they have business cards you could keep in your wallet. Ask if they need that extra couch you were going to sell on Craigslist. Get creative. Lives are at stake. You are no longer allowed to be a one-dimensional pro-life person; you never should have been allowed to be one in the first place. To be a Catholic and pro-life means to care, deeply, about all parties involved. Jesus always, always, always stood with the suffering.

These feel like short term things. But in the moment, women in crisis pregnancies really freaking need your short term help, and perhaps your guidance towards long term help. It’s a both, not an either/or.

Does your workplace have paid maternity leave? Does your neighbor have enough to eat? Does your daughter know how her cycle works? These are not small questions. They are massive questions: they form the culture, and in doing so, shape our everyday decisions.

Homework: speak up.

This is not everyone’s jam and I’m not one of those “have an opinion about everything all the time” people. You have a lot of lanes and I get that. God knows (literally) I’m not asking you to, like, share a meme. But I hope you’re having conversations about abortion and *true* reproductive health, if not online than to the people in your life. The current narrative is that this is happening because “they”, some shadowy force, “hate women”. We know that abortion harms women, that it ends human lives, that it demeans + belittles. A woman’s voice in this space is so incredibly powerful. It’s wildly ironic to me that we swung from “silence is violence” to “don’t add to the conversation” in, like, two years. Say whatever the hell you want. You are so fortunate to live in a country where you can do that. One reason why this information was leaked was likely to pressure the judges who voted to overturn Roe v. Wade into not doing so. Your voice, your support, your words—they matter.

Also, continue to destigmatize women’s health. REAL women’s health. Miscarriages + PCOS + endometriosis + ectopic pregnancies. Stop being weirdly embarrassed to put tampons and pregnancy tests in your grocery store cart. Don’t hide health issues in the shadows because the less we know about them, the less care is available for them, and the more we turn to solutions like abortion.

Homework: pray.

Prayer is action. How are you praying for women in crisis pregnancies? How are you praying for the conversion of abortion providers? How are you praying for an end to sexual violence? We throw this off as if it’s the easy way out; as if asking the creator of the universe for assistance is something we should do when we can’t do anything more productive. That is ludicrous.

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. (James 5:13)

Pray, my sister, and go in peace. I love you.

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