YES. I feel like I just did my own mic-drop after reading this, and it was empowering...so, thank you.
Especially since our livelihood is organic farming, and my hobbies are mostly old-timey (and always have been), I end up encountering a lot of this mindset...where homemaking gets boxed-in. And I've noticed that the box tends to be based on aesthetics. As a kid, sometimes I ate homecooked dinners, sometimes a microwaved TV dinner, and both made me feel loved and safe. My mom & dad owned a business together and made our community a better place, and our family was better for it - their long hours meant lots of time for me in the office, scribbling away in sketchbooks. This modern notion that we must constantly be doting on and serving - in that very aesthetic manner - feels like it takes something beautiful and makes it devoid of meaning.
All our situations are different, our homes are different, and "home" is a big place, like you said. True homemaking is a level of comfort and care that isn't confined to aesthetics, trends, or privilege (and, as I mention ad nauseum elsewhere, the current infrastructure of our society means that many heritage skills are, indeed, a privilege in our modern time).
People sometimes ask how I can get art done amidst everything else - to which I say, we have preschool and also a TV (isn't it funny how I feel guilt just writing that?). We also don't live as communally as folks in previous generations (or other parts of the world), so we don't have the arms and attention of aunties and other extended family readily available, oftentimes. I also think it's good for our kids to witness us homemaking in our areas of passion - writing, creating art, whatever it may be. Thank goodness for the variety of homemakers out there.
Love this Claire - my mom was a serial entrepreneur and CEO. I had twelve au pairs throughout my childhood. There were a lot of issues in my house but I was always proud of my mom and I've been grateful for the many ways I was able to see women thrive. I like the balance I'm currently striking -- running a business with my husband, both of us all hands on deck, the best preschool for part-time care, time for me to work creatively and professionally, and also do spontaneous library outings. I will never be the baking/sewing/organized mom but I hope I show my kids that being a mom can be fun, joyful, and authentic -- and that our home (filled with animals and kids) may not always be immaculate, but is loving and safe. That's the hope at least!
This is beautiful, Claire! "My home is this world; its wild and tangled borders flung open. My neighborhood is my home. My school district is my home. My country is my home. And I need to create and manage it, making it a pleasant place to live." (P.S. My preorder shipped and I can't wait for it to arrive!)
This is just about the dumbest possible response to this article but it’s the one that sticks out in my mind. Why is it always sourdough? I love homemade bread, but I prefer it non-sour.
My mother was a stay-at-home mom who despised housework and employed help whenever she could, but she was always up for an adventure, a picnic, putting on a play, a sleepover, a party, reading aloud, making art, playing music, welcoming guests, laughing at silliness, and caring for family, old and young.
So good! My grandmother was the first female president of a fortune 500 company and loved being a working mother (she told me just a few days ago that staying home full time gave her an ulcer). My mom stayed home and…did not thrive. Still learning how to draw the circle of home wider and how to hold the work I love and the family I also love so I was nodding along the whole time I read this.
Thanks for this Claire, as always, totally speaking to my heart on these ideas.
I imperfectly balance my motherhood, my work and my work at home, and being a "homemaker" never even crosses my mind. But I also know that my body was my children's first home, and I know thet find comfort and peace with me still. If I can be their safe spot to land, then I think I've actually done a decent job of creating the feeling of "home" for them.
Also, between your influence and another sourdough devotee, I've gotten back on the sourdough train and it does make me oddly happy to have homemade bread around.. who know?
Lovely reading, Claire. Thank you. I found these lines really moving: "My home is this world; its wild and tangled borders flung open. My neighborhood is my home. My school district is my home. My country is my home. And I need to create and manage it, making it a pleasant place to live."
My parents both worked when I was very young. I have vague memories of the German and British au peres my older sisters still tell stories of. My little sister was born with multiple disabilities and spent a lot of her first year in and out of the hospital, though, and becoming a full-time caregiver wasn't a discernment so much as a necessary shift for my mom.
Now that I'm married and discussing family life with my spouse, I'm still not sure if and how I'll continue to work going forward, but your beautiful words here remind me that God will work through whatever type of homemaking He calls me to.
I meant to respond yesterday, but well said. I honestly don't find this mindset much in my immediate community, but it is silly to say that housework done well or always being home with your kids are the most important things. My mom stayed home when we were little, and then taught at the school we attended, so we went with her to school, and all went to our respective classrooms, and then went home together. So I guess she was a hybrid work/stay home mom. What I remember and appreciate about her mothering was not her staying home, but rather her always giving me the sense that time spent with me was her best time. I liked fashion so she was always up to bargain shop for a new outfit for me. I played classical piano and she took me to countless lessons. She was a great home cook which peaked my interest so we would cook together and get new cookbooks to read. She always told me I was smart, capable, pretty and that people would be lucky to have me as a friend/partner/co-worker, etc. Those are the things I remember. Also, she wasn't great at cleaning or staying organized - and much to my husband's disappointment, I inherited that I think!
And lastly - I have a 2 year old - just one 2 year old - I don't understand people who say their toddler bakes with them. Mine opens the cinnamon bottle and dumps over half of it in the batter when I'm not looking. I think I'll reintroduce baking to her when she's 4 or 5! :)
There is a prayer in the Christian Mother’s prayer book:
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Your heart.
Mary, please give me some of your patience, and help me to lead my family to your Son.
Mary, help me to be more a mother than a housekeeper. Keep me from becoming so absorbed in my work that I forget to give time and attention to my husband and children.
I like to sub in other things for housekeeper because even when I was home full time I was never a perfect house cleaner/baker/chef. More likely distracted with my phone or something I heard or read on the internet.
YES. I feel like I just did my own mic-drop after reading this, and it was empowering...so, thank you.
Especially since our livelihood is organic farming, and my hobbies are mostly old-timey (and always have been), I end up encountering a lot of this mindset...where homemaking gets boxed-in. And I've noticed that the box tends to be based on aesthetics. As a kid, sometimes I ate homecooked dinners, sometimes a microwaved TV dinner, and both made me feel loved and safe. My mom & dad owned a business together and made our community a better place, and our family was better for it - their long hours meant lots of time for me in the office, scribbling away in sketchbooks. This modern notion that we must constantly be doting on and serving - in that very aesthetic manner - feels like it takes something beautiful and makes it devoid of meaning.
All our situations are different, our homes are different, and "home" is a big place, like you said. True homemaking is a level of comfort and care that isn't confined to aesthetics, trends, or privilege (and, as I mention ad nauseum elsewhere, the current infrastructure of our society means that many heritage skills are, indeed, a privilege in our modern time).
People sometimes ask how I can get art done amidst everything else - to which I say, we have preschool and also a TV (isn't it funny how I feel guilt just writing that?). We also don't live as communally as folks in previous generations (or other parts of the world), so we don't have the arms and attention of aunties and other extended family readily available, oftentimes. I also think it's good for our kids to witness us homemaking in our areas of passion - writing, creating art, whatever it may be. Thank goodness for the variety of homemakers out there.
Love this Claire - my mom was a serial entrepreneur and CEO. I had twelve au pairs throughout my childhood. There were a lot of issues in my house but I was always proud of my mom and I've been grateful for the many ways I was able to see women thrive. I like the balance I'm currently striking -- running a business with my husband, both of us all hands on deck, the best preschool for part-time care, time for me to work creatively and professionally, and also do spontaneous library outings. I will never be the baking/sewing/organized mom but I hope I show my kids that being a mom can be fun, joyful, and authentic -- and that our home (filled with animals and kids) may not always be immaculate, but is loving and safe. That's the hope at least!
This is beautiful, Claire! "My home is this world; its wild and tangled borders flung open. My neighborhood is my home. My school district is my home. My country is my home. And I need to create and manage it, making it a pleasant place to live." (P.S. My preorder shipped and I can't wait for it to arrive!)
This is just about the dumbest possible response to this article but it’s the one that sticks out in my mind. Why is it always sourdough? I love homemade bread, but I prefer it non-sour.
Congrats to you on your latest book! I just ordered it :)
I also loved Caroline - and Marmee.
I don’t know if I’ve ever needed to read something more than I needed to read this today.
Yes, I love what you said about all this.
My mother was a stay-at-home mom who despised housework and employed help whenever she could, but she was always up for an adventure, a picnic, putting on a play, a sleepover, a party, reading aloud, making art, playing music, welcoming guests, laughing at silliness, and caring for family, old and young.
So good! My grandmother was the first female president of a fortune 500 company and loved being a working mother (she told me just a few days ago that staying home full time gave her an ulcer). My mom stayed home and…did not thrive. Still learning how to draw the circle of home wider and how to hold the work I love and the family I also love so I was nodding along the whole time I read this.
Thanks for this Claire, as always, totally speaking to my heart on these ideas.
I imperfectly balance my motherhood, my work and my work at home, and being a "homemaker" never even crosses my mind. But I also know that my body was my children's first home, and I know thet find comfort and peace with me still. If I can be their safe spot to land, then I think I've actually done a decent job of creating the feeling of "home" for them.
Also, between your influence and another sourdough devotee, I've gotten back on the sourdough train and it does make me oddly happy to have homemade bread around.. who know?
Lovely reading, Claire. Thank you. I found these lines really moving: "My home is this world; its wild and tangled borders flung open. My neighborhood is my home. My school district is my home. My country is my home. And I need to create and manage it, making it a pleasant place to live."
My parents both worked when I was very young. I have vague memories of the German and British au peres my older sisters still tell stories of. My little sister was born with multiple disabilities and spent a lot of her first year in and out of the hospital, though, and becoming a full-time caregiver wasn't a discernment so much as a necessary shift for my mom.
Now that I'm married and discussing family life with my spouse, I'm still not sure if and how I'll continue to work going forward, but your beautiful words here remind me that God will work through whatever type of homemaking He calls me to.
Love this so much.
I meant to respond yesterday, but well said. I honestly don't find this mindset much in my immediate community, but it is silly to say that housework done well or always being home with your kids are the most important things. My mom stayed home when we were little, and then taught at the school we attended, so we went with her to school, and all went to our respective classrooms, and then went home together. So I guess she was a hybrid work/stay home mom. What I remember and appreciate about her mothering was not her staying home, but rather her always giving me the sense that time spent with me was her best time. I liked fashion so she was always up to bargain shop for a new outfit for me. I played classical piano and she took me to countless lessons. She was a great home cook which peaked my interest so we would cook together and get new cookbooks to read. She always told me I was smart, capable, pretty and that people would be lucky to have me as a friend/partner/co-worker, etc. Those are the things I remember. Also, she wasn't great at cleaning or staying organized - and much to my husband's disappointment, I inherited that I think!
And lastly - I have a 2 year old - just one 2 year old - I don't understand people who say their toddler bakes with them. Mine opens the cinnamon bottle and dumps over half of it in the batter when I'm not looking. I think I'll reintroduce baking to her when she's 4 or 5! :)
There is a prayer in the Christian Mother’s prayer book:
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Your heart.
Mary, please give me some of your patience, and help me to lead my family to your Son.
Mary, help me to be more a mother than a housekeeper. Keep me from becoming so absorbed in my work that I forget to give time and attention to my husband and children.
I like to sub in other things for housekeeper because even when I was home full time I was never a perfect house cleaner/baker/chef. More likely distracted with my phone or something I heard or read on the internet.
I just love this and I’m so pumped for my copy of your latest to arrive in my mailbox!