NFP Isn't Catholic Birth Control™

But what is a "grave reason" for using it?

The first time I heard someone say that they didn’t believe in contraception, I truly responded with, “that’s like saying you’re a flat-earther.”

And I said it with my whole chest. (God bless the FOCUS missionary stuck with me.)

As the years have gone by, my views have morphed quite a bit on both obedience to the church and contraception. I’ve learned more about what constant ingested hormones might be doing to many women’s bodies (and did to mine for many years)¹ and come around to understanding, sometimes grumpily, the church’s teachings on birth control².

In the book The Handmaid’s Tale, the horrors of Gilead (sexual slavery, an abusive theocracy, etc.) are mainly brought about because of an extreme infertility crisis. Basically, the fertility rate drops suddenly and rapidly, and society completely panics. This speaks to us on our basest, most biological nature. The urge to be a parent, while not 100% universal, is extremely common. It crosses cultural + political divides.

My children are a gift. I know this, even on my most selfish days. I see my daughter’s curls and physically feel my heart shattering out of love for her. I want to wrap my three children in thick blankets and carry them away from the horrors of this world. I want to teach them and play with them and be in their company. I did not earn them; I do not deserve them. That’s what a gift is. I think people who choose not to have children for reasons like wanting fancy cars or egotistical promotions are missing out on a beautiful, miraculous blessing. I’m sad for them.

And, also: right now, having three children is my max.

This might not be forever. But it’s my right-now, for many very valid reasons that I don’t need to share with the internet.

So, here’s the question: am I using the rhythm method? Catholic birth control? What, exactly, is NFP?