What Can We DO About Clergy Abuse?

A guest letter from Sara Larson

August 1 marks Clergy Sexual Abuse Awareness Day. To honor that, I’ve invited my friend and fellow Milwaukeean Sara Larson to share about some of her work with Awake, an organization she founded to respond to the wounds of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church. I, like many of you, am interested in leaning into what we are able to actually do as allies to the abused instead of just stirring the pot of despair, so to speak. I was very disturbed by recent reports out of St. Louis and am thankful to

The Pillar

for their excellent, thoughtful work. Please show Sara the respect she deserves and feel free to leave your own thoughts/response/experience in the comments. I’d love to hear if you have any suggestions to add to her list. XO - C

Six years ago, I believed clergy sexual abuse was a problem of the past.

Yes, terrible abuse had happened in the Church, but that was a long time ago and we have fixed the problem. Now it’s time to move on with the real work of the Church.

At least, that’s what I thought before the summer of 2018.

Before God used the horror stories of the Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report and the disturbing revelations about former cardinal Theodore McCarrick to wake me up. Before I started really paying attention to this issue and learning about the ongoing problems in the Church that I love. Before I met people like Esther, Michael, Deborah, and Jennifer, whose stories of abuse and institutional betrayal shook me to the core. Before I noticed ordinary Catholics siding with abusers over victims and demeaning survivors as “just in it for the money.” Before I learned about the unaddressed epidemic of abuse of adults, which is happening today on a scale I never could have imagined. Before I started recognizing the culture of abuse that is so pervasive in our Church.

When I said yes to God’s call six years ago and began the journey that led to the founding of Awake, I had no idea what I was saying yes to. What I have learned and experienced over these years has broken my heart in a million ways. To face these realities, I have had to reexamine my own behavior, my understanding of the Church, and my relationship with God. I have seen firsthand the way some church leaders treat you as an enemy as soon as you start speaking about this issue. 

To be honest, it’s really hard to spend so much of my time face to face with the darkest parts of the Church. It hurts to hear story after story of tremendous harm and feel so small in the face of such great evil. It hurts even more to know that my experience is only a fraction of what abuse survivors deal with every day.

In spite of these challenges, I don’t regret saying yes to this call. Because, in my journey with Awake, I have also experienced God in a whole new way. I have been inspired by the incredible courage and tenacious faith of those who have every reason to give up on God. I have seen the face of the suffering Christ, and I have learned to trust the powerful movement of the Holy Spirit. I have borne witness to the most amazing journeys of hope and healing. To accompany these beautiful daughters and sons of God has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

I know that sometimes it can feel like there is nothing lay Catholics can do, in the face of this monstrous and seemingly unending problem. But the last six years have shown me exactly the opposite. It just takes a little courage and a little creativity for us to make a real impact. 

• We can listen to the voices of survivors - and take the extra step to offer a message of support to those who have made the brave choice to speak publicly about their experiences.

• We can speak openly about this issue in Catholic settings - bringing it up in conversations and communicating our unconditional support for survivors. (After doing this, we might even find that someone we know finally feels safe enough to tell us about their own experience of abuse.)

• We can talk to the priests and lay ministers at our parish and request that more attention be given to this issue.

• We can speak up when we hear our fellow Catholics (or anyone else!) talking about survivors in harmful ways - whether in personal conversations or in public spaces. 

• We can pay attention to the news, especially in our own state and diocese, and ask challenging questions of our church leaders when we see things that trouble us.

• We can pray for abuse survivors in private - and request that those prayers be spoken out loud in Mass at our parish.

• We can teach our children to respect religious leaders but also remind them that these leaders are not perfect and that they can always come to us if someone says or does anything that makes them uncomfortable.

• We can educate ourselves about abuse and trauma so that we better understand the problem and what can be done to address it.

• We can unite with other concerned Catholics - through an organization like Awake or a smaller local group - to be part of a collective voice speaking up for change and working for healing.

• We can confront abuses of power wherever we see them and move away from automatic deference to those with collars, titles, or popularity.

• We can immerse ourselves in the Gospel and embrace the call of Jesus to stand with the broken and marginalized - including those who have been harmed by religious leaders.

The truth is, the church culture that enables abuse and cover up was not created by clergy alone. Every member of the Body of Christ can be part of the problem - or part of the solution. I hope you will join me in working for a safer, more accountable, and more compassionate Church. 

Sara Larson is a mom, blogger, and the executive director of Awake, an organization created to awaken our community to the full reality of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church, work for transformation, and foster healing for all who have been wounded. Awake is in the midst of its fifth anniversary campaign, which is focused on building their capacity to meet the growing demand for our services by both survivors and concerned Catholics. Find them on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, X, and YouTube.

On My Nightstand

• Abandonment to Divine Providence by Jean Pierre de Caussade: A wonderful little read I’ve been working through on every morning. My life’s work the past couple of years has been to seek and trust and rejoice in the will of God, and this book is helping me do so.

• No-Fault Divorce Isn’t the Actual Problem: I’ve read a lot of pros and cons about no-fault divorce the past few months and I found this article fairly convincing. “Trapping battered spouses in marriages with abusers until such a time as they can legally prove the abuse is a recipe for getting people killed, especially when the abusive spouse controls the family finances. This is reckless public policy that seems to be completely ‘divorced’ from the wisdom and insight of people who have walked these roads before.”

• The Table Where You Sit: Simcha Fisher had an excellent response to the Olympics opening ceremony brouhaha—highly recommend giving it a read. I had one of those moments where I was going to write something but then thought, honestly, this says everything I’m trying to say + says it better.

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In case you missed these Letters:

• A Childlike Faith vs. A Childish Faith

• You’re Being Sold a Lie About Masculinity

• A Feminist Take on St. Paul

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Hey, want to travel together?

If you’re interested in traveling with a bunch of other Catholic feminists, I’d love for you to hop on our pilgrimage waitlist. Past trips have included France + Poland, and while I daydream + pray about our third round, I’d love to get your contact info so you can be the first to hear about any new trips. We are in the midst of planning round 3 and it will intentionally be a smaller group, so it will likely sell out. This is not any kind of commitment; it’s just raising your hand to say “hey, when more info’s available, I want it!” (Also, let me know in the comments below where you’d like to go!)