Thank you for posting so many great articles like this. We will be making reparations for a long time as a church. Please God, have mercy and provide healing to the victims.
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God bless Simcha Fisher! I blame her for years of me not bothering to write - because she brings that faith straight to the heart-- and mind-- so well and much better than I could. And usually makes me laugh.
My heart breaks for all victims of sexual abuse, especially for the littles from a person they trust. Working in a catholic school, it’s something all teachers, leaders, and priests are aware of. Taking classes, keeping doors open, watching for signs of grooming etc. But I think when big cases break like the St. Louis one, people see that it happens from the 60’s - 90’s and think it isn’t happening today. It’s happening in public schools, it can happen in catholic schools. It can be the priest, teacher, heck it can be other students as the case in my kids school. Please be vigilant still and trust the kids even if you love your priest/teacher/that family.
Thank you to Sara for this letter, and to Claire for sharing it.
I grew up in Maryland and I read the Maryland AG's report on child sex abuse when it came out. Two priests - two! - that I knew as a child were listed in that report. I felt absolutely gutted. These were men that I knew and trusted.
I'm not in Maryland anymore, and I get so upset when young priests in my diocese rant about how so many people have left the faith. I still think about that report and it gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. It will pop into my head during mass and I think about how different my relationship with God and the Church would be if those priests had abused me. I feel betrayed and hurt, and I was safe. I can't imagine how the survivors must feel.
I agree, Anne. Sadly, I used to be one of those people who looked down on those who left. Now, I am still sad for them, but I eventually realized how incredibly harmful the abuse crisis truly was to an entire generation already struggling to navigate passing on the faith to the next generation admits incredibly intense changes in the culture.
From someone who worked for a diocesan youth office for a number of years, getting training in whatever safe environment credentials program is offered in your diocese can be added to this list. Subjecting ourselves to this training and background check, becoming aware of signs of abuse, and, especially working with youth at a parish or organizational level while promoting safe and healthy environments is a huge way to be part of the healing of the church. Some people have expressed frustration to me over the years about SE programs and requirements and the pressure they put on laypeople who didn’t “commit” any of the abuse (actually false in many places, but doubly false when you take into account the number of laypeople who never spoke up), but I just say hey, this is what it’s like to be part of the Communion of Saints and invite them offer their frustrations and service in penance for the awful sins of sexual abuse.
This is a great point, Kate. I will add this to my list in the future. I've learned that the quality of these safe environment trainings varies greatly from diocese to diocese, and even within a diocese depending on who is facilitating. But it's certainly one more simple step people can take. Thank you for the suggestion.
Hi Sara, I completely agree that quality varies - good point. All the more reason though to participate and help support better programs. Participating in diocese programs will help you understand what policies are in place to protect youth (and adults) in your diocese (and therefore what should be happening in your parish). All dioceses need to have a policy following the 2002 Charter. If more faithful, caring Catholics get involved here (and maybe even train to become a facilitator of a SE credentials program, if you feel called) we can help address deficiencies and problems together with serious intent. Thanks for your essay and work!
Claire - thank you so much for the opportunity to share these reflections; everyone else - thank you for reading! Let's keep talking about this and working for healing in our wounded Church.
Thank you for posting so many great articles like this. We will be making reparations for a long time as a church. Please God, have mercy and provide healing to the victims.
+
God bless Simcha Fisher! I blame her for years of me not bothering to write - because she brings that faith straight to the heart-- and mind-- so well and much better than I could. And usually makes me laugh.
My heart breaks for all victims of sexual abuse, especially for the littles from a person they trust. Working in a catholic school, it’s something all teachers, leaders, and priests are aware of. Taking classes, keeping doors open, watching for signs of grooming etc. But I think when big cases break like the St. Louis one, people see that it happens from the 60’s - 90’s and think it isn’t happening today. It’s happening in public schools, it can happen in catholic schools. It can be the priest, teacher, heck it can be other students as the case in my kids school. Please be vigilant still and trust the kids even if you love your priest/teacher/that family.
Love that piece by Simcha ❤️
Thank you to Sara for this letter, and to Claire for sharing it.
I grew up in Maryland and I read the Maryland AG's report on child sex abuse when it came out. Two priests - two! - that I knew as a child were listed in that report. I felt absolutely gutted. These were men that I knew and trusted.
I'm not in Maryland anymore, and I get so upset when young priests in my diocese rant about how so many people have left the faith. I still think about that report and it gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. It will pop into my head during mass and I think about how different my relationship with God and the Church would be if those priests had abused me. I feel betrayed and hurt, and I was safe. I can't imagine how the survivors must feel.
I agree, Anne. Sadly, I used to be one of those people who looked down on those who left. Now, I am still sad for them, but I eventually realized how incredibly harmful the abuse crisis truly was to an entire generation already struggling to navigate passing on the faith to the next generation admits incredibly intense changes in the culture.
From someone who worked for a diocesan youth office for a number of years, getting training in whatever safe environment credentials program is offered in your diocese can be added to this list. Subjecting ourselves to this training and background check, becoming aware of signs of abuse, and, especially working with youth at a parish or organizational level while promoting safe and healthy environments is a huge way to be part of the healing of the church. Some people have expressed frustration to me over the years about SE programs and requirements and the pressure they put on laypeople who didn’t “commit” any of the abuse (actually false in many places, but doubly false when you take into account the number of laypeople who never spoke up), but I just say hey, this is what it’s like to be part of the Communion of Saints and invite them offer their frustrations and service in penance for the awful sins of sexual abuse.
This is a great point, Kate. I will add this to my list in the future. I've learned that the quality of these safe environment trainings varies greatly from diocese to diocese, and even within a diocese depending on who is facilitating. But it's certainly one more simple step people can take. Thank you for the suggestion.
Hi Sara, I completely agree that quality varies - good point. All the more reason though to participate and help support better programs. Participating in diocese programs will help you understand what policies are in place to protect youth (and adults) in your diocese (and therefore what should be happening in your parish). All dioceses need to have a policy following the 2002 Charter. If more faithful, caring Catholics get involved here (and maybe even train to become a facilitator of a SE credentials program, if you feel called) we can help address deficiencies and problems together with serious intent. Thanks for your essay and work!
Claire - thank you so much for the opportunity to share these reflections; everyone else - thank you for reading! Let's keep talking about this and working for healing in our wounded Church.