What the Chappell Roan Conversation Is Missing

I mean, sometimes I *do* have dead eyes

Recently, mega-popular singer Chappell Roan¹ gave an interview where she discussed what she views as the misery of parenthood.

“All of my friends who have kids are in hell,” she said on the podcast Call Her Daddy. “I actually don’t know anyone who is like, happy and has children . . . I have literally not met anyone who is happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept.”

This brought out a whirlwind of indignant parents insisting that the opposite was true—including me. I looked at my sweet 3-year-old with her blonde curls, happily coloring at the kitchen table. My spunky 6-year-old, currently nursing a broken wrist and working her way through the Samantha American Girl books. My sensitive 8-year-old, running around in the backyard practicing kicking with his left foot for his upcoming soccer season. I love those kids. I love those maniacs, and I consider myself a fairly happy person.

I saw a lot of posts agreeing with her—moms are exhausted! She’s just speaking #truth! We need more resources!—and a lot of posts calling her ridiculous—just another Gen Z’er who doesn’t understand the beauty of motherhood! Look at me with my 2-year-old dressed in linen overalls! Look at us snuggling while we watch Little Bear, ya hater!

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there’s a slice of the conversation both sides are missing; a glimmer of truth we can’t quite glimpse over our carefully curated social media photos.