When Do You Shake the Dust?
Vs. evangelistic persistance
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Back when I was a campus missionary, I was in charge of fundraising my salary. This was a painful, awkward process that I occasionally enjoyed. I don’t mind talking about money and I don’t mind asking for it when it comes to worthy causes. My second year, I was a fundraising trainer and really liked it—giving people You Can Do This pep talks is one of my spiritual gifts, if I do say so myself.
Whenever I would have a rough phone call—a hard deny, or a this-is-weird response, or just anything that didn’t feel particularly great—my friend Catie and I would say shake the dust and do a ridiculous dance. If it sounds cringe, that’s because it is, but the thought always makes me smile because it was so classic. Two stupid 21-year-olds thinking they were going out there to make saints, dancing to Taylor Swift in our Nike shorts in blisteringly sweaty Ave Maria dorm rooms, cracking up at the absurdity of our lives.
It was a reference to what Jesus tells his disciples in the Gospel of Matthew:
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.
Jesus is clear in his words: not everyone’s going to be down with this message. Bounce along, Captain Kangaroo. We have work to do.
Listen, I have Strong Negative Feelings about the Message translation of the Bible (another letter for another time!1) and really don’t like to quote it as scripture, but I do enjoy its visual here:
When you knock on a door, be courteous in your greeting. If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don’t welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way. You can be sure that on Judgment Day they’ll be mighty sorry—but it’s no concern of yours now.
But what does this mean in our modern context?
Because the contrarian in me is raising her hands with many rebuttals2. Shouldn’t we persevere in bringing everyone to Christ, the most important thing? St. Monica didn’t shake the dust off her feet when St. Augustine was running around being a man-whore drunkard! Isn’t that saying that some people are too far gone for Christ’s grace? What if we just shook the dust about the many amazing converts we know? What if someone had shaken the dust about US?!
Here’s a hard truth: this anxiety comes from an egotistical place, where we think we are bringing about people’s conversions.
And I’ve been there. I wrote a few weeks ago about getting mean emails but if I’m being honest, I get far more kinder emails than mean ones. Some of them lift me way up on my high horse, telling me that I’ve brought people back to the church or reintroduced them to Jesus. And while those messages are so sweet and meant in absolute kindness, I did not bring you back to the church.
The Holy Spirit invited you, and you accepted it.
We don’t actually convert people. We build up disciples, and share the gospel, and teach truth, and rebuke sin. But we aren’t the ones who are doing the messy work of the heart. Conversion is by and through the Holy Spirit. We can work as Jesus’ hands and feet, but if someone comes to Christ it’s not because you did, like, such an amazing job at evangelizing them. Most of us can nod along to that. Where it gets trickier, at least for me, is this fact: if someone does not come to Christ, it’s not because you suck.
If your child fell away from the faith, it’s not because you didn’t enroll them in the right catechism class. If your formerly Catholic best friend is now a pro-choice activist, it’s not because you didn’t have enough hard conversations with them. If your neighbor is constantly rolling their eyes at you as you leave for daily Mass, it’s not because you didn’t explain the beauty of the Eucharist well enough.
Do we have a responsibility to share our faith and witness to the love of Jesus? Yes. Do we have an important role as a Christian to realize we represent something larger than ourselves? Yes. But some people are going to reject truth3, and at some point, there’s going to need to be a level of acceptance. An obsessive need to convert people can quickly go from glorifying the Lord to glorifying ourselves when we don’t know when to sit back and let the Holy Spirit do its thing.
But how do we know? How do we know when to stop bringing up Jesus or the Jesus-adjacent thing (sexual ethic, incessant gossiping, blatant red-pill-misogyny, hey-you-know-that-rockband-church-doesn’t-actually-count-as-Mass-right?, etc.) and shake the dust?
Well, we don’t. We’re guessing. That being said, I think there are a few indicators.
Is your relationship with that person starting to feel forced or unloving? I’m not saying that we avoid hard conversations because we want people to like us. I’m saying that it’s very obnoxious to continue bringing something up when someone has told you, repeatedly, what they think and even that they don’t want to discuss it anymore. That’s their decision, and they have every right to it. You can disagree with it. You can vent to your husband about it. You can feel that the result of that decision is that your relationship is untenable and bring it to a peaceful end. You can think it’s going to end up very, very badly for their soul. But pushing is not evangelizing. We don’t impose Christ on people; we invite them into relationship with him. Shame is not a useful evangelization tactic.
Are you talking to people about your differences more than you’re praying for them? All evangelization should be based in prayer. St. Monica didn’t magically convince Augustine with her brilliant persuasive tactics to turn away from a life of chaos and became one of the church’s greatest saints. She prayed without ceasing4. This is important because it invites the Holy Spirit into your work, and also reminds you why you care. It’s not because you want to be proven right and win an argument. It’s because you love God and want others to experience the joy you have in your heart.
Is this person open to being convinced? I snatched this from my spiritual director, ironically because I asked him his opinion (which I already knew) on something we disagreed on and he said, I’m not in the habit of trying to convince people who aren’t open to being convinced. That convicted me. When I share things like my Harrison Butker reaction, I’m not trying to change the minds of Matt Walsh or even some of you. Some people are very, very firm in their belief that women SHOULD NOT WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME and they will not be changing their minds. I’m writing for those of you who are in the murky middle, who are seeking truth with palms open wide and questions on your heart. People who are open to being convinced towards truth, no matter where it lands them. Matt Walsh? I’ve shaken the dust. It is not my job to convince hard-hearted people of things5. It’s my job to walk with those who want to sojourn.
Shaking the dust from your feet doesn’t mean shaking a person out of your life.
Some of my dearest friends are very far from the Lord. Some of my family members. Some people I see almost every day. Shaking the dust doesn’t mean cutting them out of your life (although, it might! Healthy boundaries can be necessary.) It means understanding that right now, you’re in different places. God will not abandon that person, just like he hasn’t abandoned you.
Jesus sat with tax collectors and pharisees and prostitutes and all kinds of characters, but he didn’t force anyone to sit there. It was a mutual invitation. That’s where the good stuff happens. That’s where the evangelization spark can turn into a mighty fire.
On My Nightstand
The Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease: I’m hoping to get a lot of read alouds in with my kids this summer, and this re-read is motivating me to do so! Contains booklists, inspirational anecdotes, and lots of scientific data on why reading aloud with your kids is one of the most important things we can do with them.
How Motherhood Liberated Me: This made me tear up because it was so similar to my own experience. “That smile blew all those traditional status markers out of the water—better than a million Instagram likes, an Ivy League acceptance letter, a competitive job offer—even though making my baby smile was one of the easiest things I’d ever done. I booped her nose with my finger and made a silly sound. Really, anyone could have done it. But that didn’t diminish my daughter’s amazement, because she doesn’t care if I’m exceptional. She just cares that I’m hers.”
Are Women Allowed to Be Afraid of Men?: Some interesting food for thought. I really enjoyed the writer’s nuanced take on living in fear vs. knowing the statistics vs. acknowledging the realities.
In case you missed these Letters:
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Actually, I can sum it up pretty succinctly: it changes too much of the Bible’s meaning and changes the literal words of Jesus. Jesus *didn’t* say shrug your shoulders, he said shake the dust off your feet, and I don’t think it’s up to you or me to say which message is clearer or better or the more accurate translation. Let’s just use Jesus’ words. I think of it more like The Chosen — it can help illuminate scripture, but it isn’t scripture. The difference is that The Chosen doesn’t *claim* to be scripture. I could be wrong here—I’ve never studied the Bible formally. Would love to hear your counterpoints/thoughts in the comments.
Yes, I argue with Jesus in my head sometimes. I never claimed to be a saint just yet.
And we all do this, right? Every time we sin, we’re rejecting the truth that God’s plan is better than our in-the-moment desire.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
I am not calling everyone who loves Harrison Butker hard hearted. I’m saying that our hearts are in different places with that particular topic, and that’s simply how it’s going to be at this point in time.
You put this to words so beautifully Claire. This is very similar to what I’m always trying to tell new counselors at the pregnancy center I work at - often most come in with an attitude “if I just say the right thing, then she’ll choose life.” No. If you have that attitude, you will burn out and you won’t serve your clients while. It’s not on me what my clients decide to do. I can hold open an invitation and empower but ultimately what she chooses is in her hands. And if she changes her mind and chooses life, I’m not responsible for that either. So thank you for this!